


talk dirty to me

by Crowley_Kitten



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bad Dirty Talk, Dirty Talk, M/M, Phone Sex, Slang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:27:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowley_Kitten/pseuds/Crowley_Kitten
Summary: Ineffable Kinktober 2020.day 17. phone sex/dirty talk.Aziraphale isn't that great at it. he's not sure of the right words to use.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 70
Collections: Ineffable Kinktober 2020, my Ineffable Kinktober





	talk dirty to me

Aziraphale nervously answered the phone, settling back into his armchair. 

“Hello?” His voice small and anxious.    


“Are you on speaker?”    
  
  
“Crowley! No, I’m not, how do I do that?”   
  
  
  
“Okay, look at the screen. You see the little picture of a speaker?”   
  
  
  
“Oh, yes, yes I see it.”   
  
  
“Well press it. You're going to want your hands free.”   
  
  
“Very well.” Aziraphale set the phone on his desk and pressed the little icon.  
  
  
“..ry good Angel. Can you hear me now?”   
  
  
“Yes, yes it’s on speaker now. Um... so.....how should we start?” Crowleys voice came back oozing with sexuality, a pitch or two lower. Slower. More seductive.    
  
  
“What are you wearing?”   
  
  
“Um... well.... everything... mostly everything. I took my jacket off. And I switched my shoes for my slippers after I closed the shop.” Crowley rubbed his temples in amusement.    
  
  
“Is that ssssoooo? I want you to unfasten your bow tie. Undo your collar. I want to see your neck.....I want to see the bruises I left there.” Aziraphale whimpered a little.    
  
  
"But...it’s not a video call, I don’t know how to..” Crowley cut him off sharply.    
  
  
"NO, Angel. You have to DESCRIBE. Imagine you are reading a book. You can see and smell and hear everything, all from the words on the page. This is OUR little storytime.” Aziraphale's breath hitched sharply. He carefully unfastened his bow tie, letting it hang from his collar. Undid his first few buttons, stroking his immaculately kept fingers over the sharp blush of the bruises there, the mark of those sharp teeth. He moaned a little. “Talk to me Aziraphale, what are you doing?” 

  
"I’m....touching where you bit me. It stings, and the bruise aches beautifully when I press on it. I’m....thinking about your teeth scratching on my skin, and the electric jolt as you bite down......it......the jolt runs down my spine to my..... my errrm.......thing?” Crowley cackled a little.    
“Your.... THING? What kind of a thing is it, angel?” He could HEAR the smirk twisting those thin, soft lips.    
  
“It’s.....ermmmm..... it’s a …..a…...penis. a male member.” 

  
  
“A.....member? Do people still call it that?” 

  
  
“A willy?” 

  
  
“What are you, eight years old?!.....Willly?.... really angel...”

  
  
“Knob? Dick? Todger? Wang?” Aziraphale could practically hear the demons shoulders shaking in amusement. “I don’t know... my big, thick, hard ….um.....”

  
  
“Your delicious, tempting cock?” Crowley offered. 

  
  
“Um.... yes. And ….um... you, what are you wearing?” 

  
  
“Hhmmmmmm.....Angel.....” The voice was like velvet. He was so much better at this than he was. “I’m in my throne. I’ve turned it to face a mirror so I can watch as I touch myself for you. The London night sky is illuminated behind me. I wanted texture, so I’m wearing a velvet jacket over a silk shirt. I’m wearing a kilt, so I can easily touch myself. How would you like me to touch myself, Aziraphale? I’ll touch myself for you, however you like.”

  
“Oooooh you.... you serpent....you.... your voice it.... it DOES things to me.... rude things.”

  
  
“Tell me, Angel?” 

  
  
“I’m hard in my trousers for you. I have quite an insistent stiffy for you.” Crowley whimpered as he bit back a giggle. Stiffy. Really? “I.......I really want to um..... Masturbate for you....if that’s okay?” 

  
  
“Yes, love. It's okay. Tell me about your magnificent erection some more.” 

  
  
“It’s....it’s about eight inches long maybe nine.... Give or take.. And it’s thick. Natural..Um.. Intact... I have pubic hair” There was a far too amused snort. 

  
  
“ANGEL! Stop, stop. You're not getting it. Let me describe for you. …. I’m touching myself. My cock is so hard thinking about you. The skin is so sensitive, every faint stroke is setting me on fire....I’m imagining my fingers are your lips and tongue on me.” There was a wet sound. “Sucking my fingers so I can imagine your tongue better. Aziraphale gasped, rubbing himself through his clothes. Trying to calm the rising lust. 

  
“I.... I want to … climax for you... I want to...um...paint your face with my...um...batter?” Crowley howled. He howled with laughter. 

  
  
“Your BATTER?! Angel, fuck?! Where did you get that?!” Aziraphale blushed. 

  
  
“I’m not good at this, Crowley. You know that. I’m not good at being with the latest slangs. I’m trying, I really am. Spunk? Jizz? ….” Now he seemed to be clutching at straws. “ectoplasm?” 

  
  
“Oh, Angel, you did NOT just refer to your come as ECTOPLASM?!”

  
  
“It seems I did.” A bastardly smile took over from the mortified grimace. "I will call it whatever I want. My semen. My spend. My completion. My cunt seeking custard” Crowley gasped at the curse word, so prim from his angel's lips. “My glorious, divine seed. “ His voice darkened. “whatever I call it... before the night is through, it will be trickling down your long, beautiful thighs when I am done with you.” 

  
  
Crowley swallowed hard. 

  
  
“IS. THAT. UNDERSTOOD. CROWLEY?”    
  


“NGK!” whimpered the demon. 


End file.
